*Since when did it become unacceptable for me to simply thank someone for something they have done, and tell them I appreciate them??!!
*Since when did it become unacceptable for me to be able to share my feelings, or how I feel, but others can?!
*Since when is it acceptable for you to push your beliefs and opinion on me, but when you ask what I think my answers are, my honest answers are unacceptable to you.
*Since when is it ALL ABOUT YOU and can't at all be about me?!
*Since when is it acceptable for someone to burn the bridge between you without valid reason, yet still try and "build" that bridge back again.... Only to continually tear it back down barely five minutes later. Make up your mind already.. Please. How is it at all acceptable, kind even, for one to do such a thing. What do you want from me?.... Or is not what you want from me, or what you may get out of it, but what you can steal from me?? Peace, happiness...Since when is it acceptable not only for you to burn the bridge, pick it back up and then burn it again and again.. All the while telling me nothing that i want to hear, but only thethings I do not wish to hear(because you think its a good idea)things you know good and well I do not want to hear, and really, do not even matter. Again, what is it you want from me? If you only do these things to try and kill me, you are doing a good job. If you are only doing these things to hurt me and make me jealous, again you are doing a good job. You can stop at any time.
*Since when is it unacceptable for me to, share feelings over blog or Facebook?! *Since when is it acceptable for you to always respond to what I say instead of just listen...
*Since when is it that I am always wrong and need to "check myself?" If you had the problems I had, you would understand.... But instead, you don't try to seem to understand, and I am left feeling empty and alone...yet again.
*Since when is it acceptable or fair for one to tell me some story or reason as to how and why somethig is happening... When I do not care. Why do you think I would care. Live your life and leave me alone please... Unless of course you choose to be genuine and actually make an effort to care about me and my feelings.
*Since when is it fair that 90% of those I care for do not reciprocate those feelings back anymore, but deny that I basically even exsist.
*Since when is it acceptable again... For you to pretend you care, when you do not... Or when it is only "convenient for you to do so?!" Since when did this become an appropriate thing to do to someone. I don't care how "busy" you are with life.... Either treat me as a friend or don't. Do not just drop me off at the end of the earth amd then lead me on into thinking you care. No, I will no longer send you emails, texts, cards, birthday wishes until I see that you actually appreciate them. It's like I never knew you. What ever did I do to you? I see now how I must have initiated everything. I'll never do that again... Probably with no one. I will not risk getting hurt or let down by those that do not truly care about me in the first place. I respect your feelings... Whatever those are... Why can't you respect mine??
So many questions I have that will always and forever be unanswered. How unfair is this??.... This life that has been placed before me; sure, lots of folks have much less than I, but to be given something and to have that ripped away, it's cruel, cruel and unusual punishment. A lesson I'd rarer not have to learn(whatever that "lesson" may be) If its going to be taken away then don't give it to me in the first place. Better yet, if you are going to "take it," then take it.... Please don't continually punish and haunt me for what I am trying to not remember.
And "not remember" is something that will never happen.... Because someone won't let me forget... Or maybe like they say it will just take time. My calculations tell me it has been____ amount of time. So I still have time left before I can forget and move on.
Don't mind me, as you can tell I am in a mood today. It is April 22nd 2013 and I am remembering this time last year.... And the year before.... And the year before that. A lot has come and gone between now and then, maybe this time next yr this will all be over. For now I'll just continue to rant when I feel the need too. Don't worry about me- someday this will all be over and then I shall be happy. WOOT
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